From the Inside Out

Happy Tuesday!It's been a little while, between traveling, and life, and work, and more traveling...but I'm back.Many of you know I started a book club via Alanaya So Chic on Youtube, and one of the first books we're reading is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. If you haven't read it, please do! And subscribe to the YouTube channel here. 😊Lately I've seen and experienced a good deal of negative speak and situations. I don't always talk about them because I choose to focus on the positives in my life, but I've come to understand through reading this book, my Bible and soul-searching that these negative thoughts and feelings are not simply the result of individual circumstances and situations, but tend to be much deeper.The single most foundational concept from Covey's book is the idea of personal paradigms. In simpler terms, paradigms are the maps or lenses through which we see the world, others, and ourselves. One of my favorite illustrations from this book is the reference to the map of Detroit. If traveling in Chicago, no matter how determined, sincere, perseverant etc. you might be, a map of Detroit won't allow you to find your destinations properly if traveling in Chicago. In the same way, if our personal paradigms or life maps are skewed, we cannot hope to be as successful as we might be, regardless of our motivation, perseverance etc (personality ethics) because we are not appropriately equipped for that success. The root of the problems we face is in our lens, our map, our view of the world.What does this really mean, and what does it have to do with me, you ask?I'll use the idea of love and relationships, as that is something that is applicable to many of us. If we grew up with the idea that men should always take out the trash and women should do the dishes, that idea will most likely carry throughout all areas of our lives. Now while there may be nothing inherently wrong with this outlook, it can be detrimental if one member of the household is sick, or for one reason or another cannot fulfill that duty we have created based on our paradigm. The trash may overflow, or the dishes may take over the kitchen if we refuse to adjust our paradigms.While paradigms are not all wrong, it is important to assess why and where they come from and make sure they're aligned with principles that represent where we want our lives to end up.Based on this simple concept, I've really been taking some time to re-adjust my thinking, and it really is making a world of difference in the outcomes I see. Studying the root cause of the motivations behind behaviors and situations has been both interesting and helpful.I'm really enjoying this book, everyone. I encourage you to read it and stay tuned for my full review on YouTube!I hope you're having a lovely Tuesday!-AB